Torture..........

Some say the Japanese torture people by hanging them upside down for week, the NHS just leave people dangling for weeks which then turn into months. This time 8 weeks ago i was back home without my baby!

Today started so well, i woke with my beautiful man beside me, we had cuddles and then planned the day.....which turned out to be pub, pub and more pub. Now I'm scared to close my eyes, the fear i feel is untrue!
We have our first consultant appointment tomorrow, i keep thinking what if he says this or what if he says that, i just cant seem to relax!
I know whatever i think is not going to change what he's going to say......
I read my Facebook friends status's and they say ''up to my ears in nappies'' what i would give to be ''up to my ears in nappies!''
Some of the mothers on Facebook, i wont call them my friends cause it makes me sick, this woman has a number of children and writes on her status ''can anybody get me any weed?'' I mean seriously get a friggin grip, you have a miracle, you have a life to look after somebody relies on you......and you want weed. A child's smile, cry, laugh even poo is the only drug i long for!
Think i need to update my friend list by clicking DELETE!

Well my rant is over now and surprisingly i feel a tad better :-)