Guess who's been promoted.......

.......ME!
Yes, i have been promoted to senior :) After 3 years of working my arse off, i have finally achieved it, i mean its not the bee all and end all, but it means alot to me, it means the managment trust me, it means im good enough :) So im really happy about the whole work situation now!

This time last year i had 8 days to go untill my life would of been complete, my boy, my Finley was due on the 18/11/2009.
He was born on the 28/11/2009, so in 18 days it will be/would be his 1st birthday......

I've been thinking about what we could do on that day and have decided i want to go out for the day, go for a nice meal with my fam and then release some lanterns at night. Send them upto my beautiful son.
I wish i had one more chance to tell him i love him, i mean do you think he knows that i do?! I never told him......ooooo regret! It eats at you!
I seem to be in a whirlwind at the moment, i feel happy, i feel content and then i remember!
My feelings are all over the place, i feel the same as i did back then i feel angry, i feel sad, hazy, not in control.....not at ease! Is that normal??

Recently a lady died who i worked with, she was our admin at work. What a wonderful lady...but again taken too soon. I also work with her daughter, my god what a girl, i couldnt even imagine what she is going through i mean my mum is my world and they were so close. She still writes little messages on her mums facebook wall, and i swear my heart aches for her. She seems so brave on the outside such a strong girl, but i understand its not strong its survival.
You have two choices when you loose somebody close, you either get through it (not over it) or you break down. Crying is NOT breaking down, my mum used to tell me tears are pearls and every cry is one less to the end of the "grief" tunnel.

R.I.P Karen. I hope your dancing with the stars.
And if you can hear me, tell Finley i love him.
The brightest star in the sky..............my boy, my Finley.